“Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler (1989)

One person’s view:  “If someone ever wrote a musical tribute to me, I’d be pretty damn insulted if it’s even half as backhanded and self-serving as ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’.” – Nic Renshaw @ Pop Goes the Year

The public’s view:  2.04 / 5.00, the worst #1 hit of 1989 that wasn’t by New Kids on the Block

Bette Midler is a gifted singer and a beloved entertainer, and “Wind Beneath My Wings” holds sentimental value for many people.  But just because a song gets everybody teary-eyed at weddings and funerals doesn’t mean it should be #1 on the pop music charts.  In fact, that’s a good reason it shouldn’t be #1.  Who wants to hear a funeral song in heavy rotation on the radio every hour and a half?  For those of us who can remember 1989, the saturation of “Wind Beneath My Wings” into every aspect of life was like a preview of hell.

I think that Midler and her producer, Arif Mardin, tried to keep “Wind Beneath My Wings” from becoming so ubiquitous.  They knew that excessive exposure would weaken the song’s effectiveness for the special occasions when it was truly needed, so they included a poison pill at the end:  the part beginning with “Fly… fly….”  For the final 45 seconds, it’s as if Midler no longer wishes to sing in a pleasing manner and is deliberately attempting to harm the audience.  The squawking groan and the pandering that follows (“Thank God for you”) should have sent a strong message of deterrence to any radio programmer who was considering playing the record.  Unfortunately, Midler’s best efforts at driving listeners away somehow weren’t enough to keep the song off the airwaves and out of #1.  Maybe a few well-placed curse words would have done the trick.

Aside from the painfully melodramatic ending, there’s another big turn-off in “Wind Beneath My Wings”.  The lyrics make the singer sound like an exploitative jerk.  She praises her friend privately, but in public she takes credit for everything that the friend does.  She gets “all the glory” while the other person has “a beautiful smile to hide the pain.”  By this point in the relationship, it isn’t enough just to tell the friend what a “hero” he or she is.  This individual also deserves an apology and possibly some monetary compensation.  That is why a funeral is the ideal setting to play the record.  You should never dedicate “Wind Beneath My Wings” to a living person who will realize how unfairly they’ve been treated, and who might hire a lawyer.

As you may have gathered, I am not one of the biggest fans of this song.  However, I am glad it existed because it led to Pinkard & Bowden’s improved version entitled “Wind Beneath My Sheets”.  If you think that this duo’s parody is too crude and that Bette Midler would never approve of jokes about such a horrible topic, I refer you to her flatulence-filled Mondo Beyondo scene with the Kipper Kids.  See why I say that she’s a beloved entertainer?