Saturday, July 6, 2024

“How Do You Talk to an Angel” by the Heights (1992)

One person’s view:  “Listening to it feels like sitting at a cubicle and staring out the window at nothing.” – Nic Renshaw @ Pop Goes the Year

The public’s view:  1.77 / 5.00, the worst #1 hit of 1992

Some TV theme songs are intended to establish the show’s premise so that new viewers can dive right in without having to ask a friend a bunch of annoying questions about what is going on.  If you’ve ever watched a sitcom about a streetwise teen who moves in with his rich aunt and uncle and a talking horse, and who all got shipwrecked on an island during a three-hour tour, you can appreciate this type of theme song.  Other TV themes are more concerned with setting a mood that gets people excited for the action, comedy, or drama that they are about to see.  How could anyone change the channel after hearing Waylon Jennings sing the praises of those good ol’ boys from Hazzard County?  Then there is “How Do You Talk to an Angel”, which is in a category of its own.  Its goal was simply to get played a lot on the radio while its associated TV series, The Heights, languished in ratings hell.

I am not going to offer an opinion on The Heights because, like most people, I never saw an episode of it.  The promos on Fox warned that the series was “from the people who brought you 90210,” and this was enough to ensure that I kept the TV off during that time slot.  Sometimes I also unplugged it as a precaution.  “How Do You Talk to an Angel” did nothing to convince potential viewers that they were missing out on an important cultural experience.  The Heights was ultimately axed while the song was still in the top 10, with the network declining to even air a wrap-up episode that had already been filmed.  Fox had a prestigious reputation to protect, and the series was not living up to the high standards that had been set by shows such as Woops! and Herman’s Head.

The Heights chronicled the adventures of seven people who formed a band.  “How Do You Talk to an Angel” was the best song that these seven could come up with, which suggests that five or six of the band members weren’t pulling their weight and would have been killed off in a plane crash if the series had continued.  (“Tonight, a very special episode of The Heights…”)  The song isn’t even complete.  The second verse ends abruptly after only a couple of lines, then the remaining 60% of the track is just repetition and a long instrumental bridge.  I’m guessing that the writers showed someone else the lyrics that they had so far, and that person said, “Please, stop now.”

Other than being a mediocre, half-finished song from a failed TV show, there is really nothing wrong with “How Do You Talk to an Angel”.  However, its chart success raises questions about what exactly was going on with the Hot 100 in late 1992 and early 1993.  Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” spent an astonishing 13 weeks at #1 immediately before the Heights had their 2-week turn at the top.  After that, Whitney Houston monopolized the top slot for 14 weeks with “I Will Always Love You”.  I doubt that these three morose ballads were the only decent music available for those seven months.  Unfortunately, the charts had still not yet hit rock bottom.  That’s coming up in the next couple of entries.

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