Friday, August 9, 2024

“Thank God I Found You” by Mariah Carey featuring Joe & 98 Degrees (2000)

One person’s view:  “I’m a huge Mariah fan and I can say with complete confidence that this is her worst #1 by a wide, wide margin.” – musthavecupcakes_19 @ Reddit

The public’s view:  2.25 / 5.00, in the bottom third of #1 hits of 2000

Mariah Carey has had 19 #1 hits, more than anyone besides the Beatles.  When critics and listeners rank these 19 singles based on quality, “Thank God I Found You” is almost always at or near the bottom.  Does it deserve its bad reputation?  As Casey Kasem always said, there’s only one way to find out!  Actually, there are several ways to find out, but please keep reading anyway.

“Thank God I Found You” is a fairly standard sappy ballad, but it is not so bad that it can’t be saved by some great singing.  It is also the rare composition that can be improved by adding another vocalist and making it a duet.  Joe was an excellent choice for a duet partner, because he’s one of very few singers talented enough to share the stage with Mariah without having an egomaniacal persona that might risk upstaging her.  In fact, Joe doesn’t possess much of a persona whatsoever beyond having the most nonspecific moniker in all of music.  When I first heard that someone with the mononym Joe was featured on a Mariah Carey hit, I wrongly assumed that Fat Joe had gone on a diet and changed his name – much like how Snoop Doggy Dogg became Snoop, and P. Diddy left his P. in a urinal somewhere and became Diddy.  Joe could have been a much bigger star if he had spelled his name “Jeaux” or changed it to “Bald Joe”.

After Joe was added to the project, someone decided that this song needed a boy band too.  98 Degrees was the type of B-list group that a clueless rich dude might hire for his daughter’s birthday party, only for her to sulk in rage when she sees that it isn’t the Backstreet Boys or NSYNC.  Aside from this Mariah collaboration, the highest-charting hit by 98 Degrees was “Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)”.  This latter song was a transparent attempt to cash in on the success of Latin-tinged pop music, with part of the title repeated in Spanish just to make the point obvious.  The endeavor might have made sense if 98 Degrees had even one member who was Latino, but the group was whiter than David Duke’s dandruff.  (Full disclosure:  My brother used to know one of the 98 Degrees guys when they both served on some kind of a committee together.  My brother doesn’t remember him ever lapsing into Spanish.)

Now we’re up to six credited singers on a song whose optimal number was more like 1.93.  This makes it a challenging listen because the vocalists are stepping on each other and you don’t know where to place your attention.  The video makes things worse by incorporating that irritating editing style in which one of the performers is shown for two or three seconds before abruptly cutting to someone else.  Roughly 80% of music videos use this technique, but I don’t know whether this trend started before or after 80% of Americans were diagnosed with ADHD.  Either way, I’m sure there is a causal relationship.

I’m no fan of ballads, as Savage Garden could tell you, but I think this song had the right ingredients to be a nice addition to Mariah’s catalog.  Unfortunately, there can be such a thing as too many ingredients.  Adding 98 Degrees to this track was like dumping a bag of Gummi Bears into the Crock Pot while the chili is cooking.  The four frat boys didn’t do a bad job, but Mariah and Joe could have handled the situation without their help.

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