Monday, March 11, 2024

“Moody River” by Pat Boone (1961)

One person’s view:  “Even more repugnant than the lyrics themselves is Boone’s delivery.  …  He sounds callous as opposed to caring.” – dagwood525 @ Rate Your Music 

The public’s view:  2.93 / 5.00, in the bottom 25% of #1 hits from 1961

Pat Boone.  Oh boy, is there some controversy about this dude.  Boone is the man who took original songs by other, more talented acts, and recorded his own watered down “whitewashed” versions to make them palatable for audiences in his own demographic.  The prevailing opinion among critics is that this cannibalized sales for the original recordings and obscured the achievements of the marginalized musicians who had performed them.  The contrarian argument is that Boone brought attention to these previously little known artists and helped them achieve later commercial success.  I hold the latter point of view.  When I listened to Boone’s 1997 album In a Metal Mood:  No More Mr. Nice Guy for the first time, I was enthralled by the song “Paradise City”.  It turns out that it was originally recorded by an obscure garage band called Guns ‘n’ Roses.  I decided to check out their stuff, and it’s pretty good too!  I never would have discovered them without the help of Debby Boone’s father.

Boone has also made some contentious political statements.  He recorded a robocall for the Republican in a Kentucky governor’s election a few years ago because the Democratic candidate had “consistently supported every homosexual cause” and would turn the Bluegrass State into “another San Francisco.”  The Democrat was elected anyway, and Boone’s dire warning proved to be correct.  A gay horse won the Kentucky Derby, bourbon distilleries switched to making pomegranate martinis, and the coal miners’ union demanded paid time off for Lady Gaga’s birthday.  Boone was not the only has-been out-of-state music star to interfere in the race, as Kris Kristofferson had endorsed one of the Democrats in the primary.  With these two titans of entertainment on opposing sides, many Kentuckians simply refused to vote until Chubby Checker offered his opinion.

But enough about the legend that is Pat Boone.  Let’s talk about his hit song “Moody River”.  It tells a story in which Boone’s character goes to meet his girlfriend at an oak tree next to a river.  Instead, he finds a note in which she confesses to cheating on him.  The guilt was bothering her, so she did the only rational thing that a female in this situation could do:  she jumped in the river and drowned.

These lyrics have been criticized as problematic, but before we cast moral aspersions at a song from 1961 we need to look at the popular music of our own era.  We’ve had hits glorifying murder, drug dealing, and getting jiggy with it.  I’m not sure what that last one is, but it sounds like a violation of God’s commandments.  One modern chart-topper took things to a completely new level, basing its entire premise on the liquids that are being copiously emitted from the performers’ private parts.  By contrast, Pat Boone is so pure that he hesitated to kiss his co-star in a movie because he wasn’t married to her.  The world has bigger worries than the lyrics to his songs.  (The lyrics to his political robocalls, on the other hand, might be an issue.)

“Moody River” has a nice jaunty little feel to it, and Boone’s voice is agreeable.  He’s not exactly Elvis or Roy Orbison, but he’s more distinctive than the next couple of guys we’ll be looking at on this blog.  It’s hard, though, to put exactly the right level of emotion into a weird story like this.  Keep in mind that the lyrics refer to “last Saturday evening,” so the trauma should still be fresh in the singer’s memory.  But there isn’t a hint of anger when he describes learning about the cheating.  It’s like, what can you do about it?  Girls are sluts these days.  He does convey a slight tinge of sadness about the suicide, and it’s just the appropriate amount.  I really don’t need to hear him wailing and moaning in anguish.  Overall I think he did reasonably well with the material he was given, but once again this is the contrarian opinion.

“Moody River” does have one major flaw, however.  The song abruptly ends after only two verses, just as the tale is starting to get mildly interesting.  What happens next?  Don’t leave us hanging like that!  I envision a third verse in which Boone’s character confronts the other man who was referenced in his girlfriend’s note.  He busts through the guy’s door and finds two people in bed together, covered in river mud.  Who would have thought that she could swim?  At this point he decides that women are too much trouble.  He’s moving to Kentucky.

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