One person’s view: “I distinctly remember this as being the song that completely killed my interest in listening to pop radio.” – ElectriCobra @ Rate Your Music
The public’s view: 1.73 / 5.00, the worst #1 hit of 2015 & 2016
With “Closer”, the Chainsmokers provided a masterful lesson in how to write and produce a successful pop tune. Musically, the song was a collection of hooks that squeezed every bit of commercial value out of the EDM genre that was so popular at the time. Just as important, it featured wistful lyrics that young adults could identify with. The duo’s craftsmanship was rewarded with a 12-week stay at #1 and obscene levels of riches, yet their monster hit has since followed the “You Light Up My Life”-type of trajectory that is a recurring theme on this blog. Once an omnipresent part of American life, “Closer” is now seen as something that few people want to revisit. Let’s explore how this happened.
First we have to consider the context of 2016. I previously theorized that 50 Cent’s “In da Club” was so successful in 2003 because it helped people daydream their way through a tough economy. Although the early 2000s stank in almost every possible way, most of us were optimistic that better times were ahead. 50 Cent tapped into that hopeful spirit. But just as we got back onto our feet, another huge recession came along and knocked us back down again. It’s what we deserved for being optimistic. By the mid-2010s, there were hordes of twenty-somethings drifting aimlessly around the country with worthless college diplomas. They were sleeping on stolen bedding and driving impractical vehicles that were on the verge of either breaking down or being repossessed. The financially distressed on-again-off-again couple in “Closer” was the microcosm of a generation, and that made the song relatable at the time.
This lyrical theme of “Closer” reminds me of the Gin Blossoms’ “Hey Jealousy”. Both songs feature shiftless male narrators who drink too much and who are trying to rekindle things with an ex. Yet “Hey Jealousy” is timeless, while the dated EDM gimmicks and extra lyrical details lock the Chainsmokers’ hit in to an era that deserves to be forgotten. The couple in “Closer” can now look back on that period of their lives with regret. If the girl had leveraged her meager funds to buy stocks or real estate cheaply during the downturn, instead of a Range Rover, she’d be doing quite well now.
The concept video for “Closer” doesn’t boost the song’s longevity. I watched it in the hopes of spotting someone deviously sneaking their roommate’s mattress out of Colorado, but there is no such scene. Instead, I had to witness the Chainsmokers’ Andrew Taggart making out with Halsey for four solid minutes. Halsey and Taggart are not unattractive people in other settings, but this clip turns both of them into odd-looking self-obsessed doofuses. I would rather hear one of Meghan Trainor’s toilet stories than see these two cavorting in their underwear. It isn’t surprising that the low-budget lyric video for “Closer” has six times as many YouTube views as this.
The biggest blow to the legacy of “Closer”, and to that of the Chainsmokers in general, came at a televised awards show where the duo performed the track with Halsey. This was the night that the entire world learned that Andrew Taggart could not actually sing without the help of studio enhancements. He later admitted in an interview with Billboard that he had “sounded like shit”, and that it was only the second time he had attempted to sing live. Many viewers resented their time being wasted by this amateurism and lack of preparation. A yodeling juggler with a hacking cough could have been put on the stage instead, and it would have been a far more compelling act. But at least Halsey wore a sexy top.
If you really want to get triggered by the Chainsmokers, check out the Celebrity Net Worth web site and do some comparisons. Kelly Clarkson has sold over 25 million albums and hosts a popular talk show, and is worth an estimated $50 million. Hall & Oates, the most successful duo in Billboard chart history, is worth a combined $130 million. Barry Gibb, who wrote and performed dozens of beloved tunes that have been played trillions of times, has about $140 million. Meanwhile, the Chainsmokers have amassed $80 million – apiece. That’s right: two guys who can’t sing and who barely play any instruments, and who released maybe two hit songs that anyone remembers in the slightest, are somehow among the wealthiest musical entertainers ever. Feel free to go outside and bang your head against a tree until the world starts to make sense again.
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